When I was in 9th grade, my English teacher, Emma Jean Baker, taught me to be a clear, concise writer. “Think of each word as costing you money,” she said, “and you don’t want to have spend more than necessary.” I think that lesson applies to sending emails to college coaches.
I really don’t want to get long emails from players telling me how “soccer is a part of you” and how you “love soccer with every fiber of your being” and “soccer has always been there for you”. (These are quotes from actual emails by the way.) These things may be true, but when writing to a coach you need to think of your audience. As I mentioned in my last post, we are looking for important facts like your graduation year, contact info, intended major, references, club/HS team info, and tournament info. We will learn about your personality by talking to you directly on the phone, in person and to your references. So number one, keep your emails concise and to the point.
Secondly, don’t address emails to “Coach”. Put a name on your email. If it is just going to “Coach”, we (coaches) all know that you are sending that email out to 10, 25, or 100 other coaches so we begin to question your sincerity when emails start out like this:
Soccer has been my life long passion and it would be a dream come true if I could continue my soccer career at your university…
You’ll have to forgive me if I (and all the other coaches that received that) have difficulty believing the credibility behind that email.
But here is an example of a great email I received from player. First she addressed it to me, second she did some research and identified a major that we have that she wants to study and then she gave me contact info and when/where I can see her play. (Info was changed to protect student’s identity.)
Dear Coach Brodovsky:
My name is Mary Smith. I am a senior at Plainfield High School. I play on my high school soccer team and I also play on FC Soccer as a defender.
I have not yet made a decision on a college for next year. I am planning on majoring in Elementary Education. I have been researching colleges in the tri-county area. I have visited several and have been in contact with their soccer coaches. I came across your school and I am interested in learning more about the program and your soccer program. I am going to plan a visit over the next couple of weeks.
I will be playing in the one-day tournament at Kirkwood and would like to invite you to watch me play. I am a defender wearing jersey #77. I will include our schedule at the end of this email.
Thank you for your time and hope to see you on the field.
C – 610-555-1234
H – 610-555-4321
10:30 a.m. – FC Soccer vs. Nationals FC – Field #7
2:15 p.m. – FC Soccer vs. Central SC – Field #5
This was great- clear and concise, addressed to me, she did some research and knows that we have Elementary Education, gave her contact info, and when/where I can see her play. The only thing I need from her is contact info for references.
When you are going to a tournament and there is a last minute schedule/cancellation, it is OK to send a mass email to all the coaches on your list with updated info. It shows you are making the effort to get them information that they need.
This should give you some do’s and don’ts when sending out emails to college coaches as part of the recruiting process. Make things clear and concise because our time is valuable. Just like the rest of the world, we like to get personalized email, not spam so take that extra effort- it goes a long way.